Joe Dolce: Ulysses for Bogans

Ulysses for Bogans

Most of all he liked grilled mutton kidneys which gave to his palate a fine tang of faintly scented urine.
—James Joyce, Ulysses

I was a Lily of the Grampians, yeah?
when I put the wattle in my hair like
the Goolwa girls used
or shall I wear a jumper, yeah?
and how we pashed behind
the dunny and I thought fair dinkum
as well why not him—he’s a good as any other bloke,
and then he asked me with his cakehole,
how ya goin’, yeah?
and then he whinged, would I, yeah?
to say yeah? Too right,
no dramas (he was on the piss),
bloody oath, and I spit the dummy
and pushed him away so
he could feel my breath all whoop whoop, yeah?
and his heart was going all “sweet as”,
and yeah? (A two-pot screamer!)
I said pull yer head in, yeah?
Maaaaaate, I can’t be bothered, YEAH?

Joe Dolce